The Real Neighbors of Upland

"Modern Mash-Up," my latest quilt top

I have been trying to sew most days but life hasn't been as cooperative as it could be.  I mean...

Drama to the right of me...drama to the left of me...into the valley of drama goes Dori and her pup.

Apartment living is more interesting than watching television.  I think when we live in a house surrounded by lawns and fences that we get into our own lives so deeply that we sometimes forgetting there are others out there living their own lives.  Can't do that if you live in an apartment.  Nope, they are living their lives right outside your front door.  Yeppers, these are the real neighbors of Upland.

Sunday was not a day of rest.  My neighbor upstairs came knocking at my door early...just a bit before 7 am.  He was in terrible shape and shaking.  I knew he had been ill as his mother had been coming over to help him for the past week.  He said he lost his phone somewhere in his house and would I please come up and call it so he can find it? And thus began a full day of the kid knocking at my door, wanting to use my phone to call his mom.  Her answering once and then not again as his language became more and more abusive.  It took me a while but I realized he was drunk.  I'm sometimes slow at the uptake.  I set boundaries--he had none--and stopped listening to his ramblings of poor him, no one cared, he was going to die.  Each time after that first day I would tell him I cared very much but he was not coming into my house  until he stopped drinking. He was welcome any other time, not in this state.

This continued Monday and Tuesday.  The guy was drinking, had been for over a week with no food.  Just beer.  Unfortunately there is a liquor store across the street.  He walked there multiple times a day.  Multiple times the police came, the EMTs came, the ambulance came...he always returned later the same day.  He was like the Energizer Bunny.

Last night he went off to rehab.  Suitcase and radio and all.  His parents had worked hard to find the right place and were able to bypass the waitlist because it was an emergency.  This kid was not going to be alive in a few days if he didn't get some help.

Saddest thing...saddest thing.  Sweet kid.  Sweet manipulative abusive alcoholic kid.  I wish him well.

Drama is all around us but we often don't see it because we are insulated by our homes.  But this is apartment living! These are the lives of the real neighbors of Upland.

peace~~~

My Exciting Life

Winter in Southern California...this is the way it rolls down here.  This is lovely McCarthy Park in Upland.  It chilled nicely last night--down to mid-50s.  I felt like home!  They keep saying it is going to rain, but the clear blue skies belie this statement.

While I wait for the bug guys to finish spraying, bombing and generally ridding my apartment of roaches, I have many things I can do.  Well, nit really because my life's adventures are rather slim today...  

First, I emptied the cupboards in the bathroom and kitchen of everything, wrapping stuff in plastic bags.  I took off the sheets and quilts and general stuff so I don't have to sleep on bug-bombed linens tonight.  Everything is in the center of the living area, on the couch and on the bed.  Secondly, my sister is allowing my pup and me to stay at her place for the day.  The bug guys said they would be there between 8-10...I had to leave for a meeting at 7:30 so the earliest I can go home is maybe 3:00.

So I have the day away from the apartment today!  Since it is laundry day, I am doing my laundry at my sisters :)  Gotta love not needing quarters, although I should offer her some.  In just a few minutes, I will be heading over to see Mom.  More roach saga to share with her.  She hates hearing about the roaches and I love tormenting her with them :)  Don't have to exaggerate that I now have five more dead ones in the lightbox.  YippeeSkippee!

I hope to meet up with friends for lunch and then will hang out until dinner with my sis and her husband and the neighbors.  Then home to redesign the little apartment.  Oh yeah...might have to get more bags for trash.

My exciting life :)
peace~~~

A Creek Runs Through It

Right outside my apartment area is a creek.  It runs throughout the complex.  It is delightful to listen to the running water, little bubbling waterfalls.  Birds fly to it, sitting on the rocks and drinking or bathing.  The sun is warm on the stones.  So, between the creek and the tall trees and the green grass, this small apartment complex is very pleasing.

Well, except for the water roaches...

Since I am gone from the apartment six weeks at a time, when I return I have found a bug or two in the sink or tub.  They climb up the pipes and get stuck in the smooth-surfaced as they can't climb up smooth surfaces.  I give a little shriek and pour hot water down the drain.  Instant death and then it flows down the drain.  Buh Bye~~~

These ugly creatures are generally not a problem.  I haven't seen any since the first day back.  That is until Saturday night.

I'm sitting at the little counter, facing into the little kitchen.  The kitchen light is on.  It is one of those older valance fixtures that uses fluorescent tubes.  It has a box around it and a piece of pokey plastic cover. And as I look up at the light, I see one of those ugly roaches scampering across, inside the plastic cover.  I get up and look at it closer and see it's two inches of tummy right above my head.  I am trying to figure out how to KILL IT! but am concerned that taking off the cover, it will fall on my head or the floor and scamper away.  So I think, "Two people can be better at this than one!" and I hurried upstairs to Anthony's apartment.  He lives above me.

Knock Knock.  "Anthony I need help."  I can see he is ready to help any way he can... "I have this bug..."  And he starts shaking his head no no no.  

"I don't do bugs!" No no no, his hands pushing against the air like he wants to get away from me and shut the door.  

"I just need someone to hold the plastic so I can get it without..." 

"You have a husband!  Why isn't HE here to take care of the bugs for you?!?!"  He was still shaking his head no no no, so I stop my plea and say it's okay.  Don't worry; I can take care of it.  "Just spray the hell out of that bug; that's what I do!"

"Do you have any bug spray?"

"No, sorry."  He's much calmer now.  Okay, I say...and head back downstairs.

When I return to the kitchen, I check the lightbox and THE ROACH ISN'T THERE!  Oh good gawd...  I poke the plastic cover trying to get it to come back into view.  I figure it's hiding in the valance somewhere.  I realize nothing can get out of the box, so I go back to my laptop, keeping an eye on the light.  

Suddenly there is a knock on the door.  Between the knock and the pup barking and growling her little head off, I jump startled.  It was Anthony with a spray bottle of bug juice.  "Okay, where's your bug?" he says, holding the bottle like a weapon.  I show him where it was and that it is gone.  He is totally relieved, hands me the bottle and turns toward the door.  "Good luck with that," he says as he runs out the door.  Sweet kid :)

So I take down the pokey plastic cover and start spraying the hell out of the valance.  Bug juice is dripping down on the floor, on my head, but I keep spraying.  I run and get a big towel for the floor (because I am not smart enough to get one first) and continue to spray and drip.  As I come around the inside of the valance, I see how the bug got there and where it went. A gaping hole where the valance was connected.  I spray the hell out of the hole.  I then put the pokey plastic cover back into the box, cracking it a bit because it is brittle--the 70s were a long time ago--and let it continue to drip onto the plastic.  I go to bed.

The next morning I immediately looked at the light box and found not one but two almost dead bugs.  Both were about two inches long and twitching on their backs.  One was just twitch  twitch  twitch and the other was twitchtwitchtwitchtwitch flapping his little bug feet in the air.  "Let then suffer!" I said to myself.  I couldn't stop watching them and finally had to give all of us some peace.  So I took down the pokey plastic cover (careful not to let the twitchers slide off) and SPRAYED THE HELL OUT OF THEM.  If they could have swam, they would have swam across the pokey plastic thing.  The slow twitcher stopped.  The fast twitchers flapped his little bug feet a few times and slowed his twitching until one last twitch and then done.

I flushed them down the toilet.  Yeah, they like water so much, they can have it!  Then I resprayed the pokey plastic thing and let it dry and replaced it into the light box.  Of course, I broke a corner piece when I did that, so I had to glue it back onto place without removing it (cause I would have broken more if I removed it).  I should be good for at least a month :)

On my way home from visiting my mom, I stopped at Target and bought more bug spray--one bottle for my hesitant hero Anthony and one for me.  All's right with the world.  

peace~~~

We Are Waving Hello

I haven't been sewing since I came down to stay longer at my Mom's area.  It seems every day is packed.   Morning consists of walking the dog, laundry, cleaning, breakfast.  Then heading over to Mom's and on the way home I stop to pick up things I still need for the apartment.  Or groceries.  So the day is pretty well shot by the time I get home.  Then walking the dog and eating lunch or making dinner.  So this week I made a vow to finish one quilt top. 

My good friend Vicki loves Minions.  They make her happy.  In her honor, I bought a Minion panel and planned to create the borders.  The panel has been up on my wall beside my bed for weeks.  Those cute Minions have been waving to me every morning when I wake and when I go to bed.  I finally made the borders and reached my goal to complete one quilt top.  I will quilt it when I get back to Portland.

Every day when I visit Mom, I see my other friends who also live at her Health Center.  There are the Sunny Outside Greeters, a few friends who sit outside in the morning sun and solve world problems.  There are J and B and J2 and R.  B moved back into Assisted Living but he comes over to see his friends frequently.  J2 and R have been married over 75 years.  When R needed 24/7 care, J2 moved with her--they have never been apart.  I love talking with J2.  So intelligent and warm and funny.

Inside the Center are the Inside Greeters.  There is great activity around the Nurse's Station and many of the residents are brought around to be part of the activities.  Two of my favorite people are J3 and W.  W has the prettiest smile that lights up her face when she interacts with others. 

We talk about her sons and every day things.  We hug and laugh.  When she isn't feeling well, I just sit with her for a bit and then let her nap.  

J3 is another matter.  J3 doesn't talk.  Mostly he stares at me.  He will often laugh at me or get teary as we interacted.  But I had no idea how much he comprehended.  And then one day as we talked (okay, I talked and he looked at me), I asked him if he played baseball as a kid.  He nodded.  And then--this was even bigger--he put his hands together and raised his arms a bit like he was holding a bat.  Wow!  That was when I knew he comprehended every thing. Now I talk about anything and every thing and ask him yes and no questions when possible.  He told me loved chocolate and chocolate ice cream :)   

And I can't forget L!  He and his wife raised some 40 kids--their own and Foster Kids, all who still live close by and visit.  One is a professional football player.  One is a professional baseball player.  He is 88 and his wife, he told me, is 93.  I would never have guessed her age as 93.  L says with some pride, "She looks maybe 65, doesn't she?"  He is the sweetest, one of the most delightful persons in the Center.

It is difficult when a friend of mine passes away.  I look around for them and they are not there.  I have to ask...so sad.  I miss them because they gave me so much love and  delight.  There was D, who's face lit up like a Christmas tree when I said hello.  She rarely talked but she adored my pup and talked to her like an old friend as she rubbed her face and ears. I miss her still.

So many people in my life waving hello, enriching me, adding to my adventures.
peace~~~

A Place to Lay Our Heads

My childhood home in Pomona, CA

July 21, 1950 important events:

• The Korean War/Conflict/Police Action/"The Unknown War"/"6–2–5 Upheaval"/ "Fatherland Liberation War"/"War to Resist U.S. Aggression and Aid Korea" was officially announced by the U.S.
• My father finished building our house.
• I was born.

I lived in the house my father built my entire childhood through graduation from high school.  Sometime in 1962-63, Dad added a master bedroom to the front of the house and my sister and I now had rooms of our own.  In 1968 I moved into a place on my own.  It was a large old house in Pomona, California that was broken into four apartment units.  My apartment was the sun porch with 24 steps up to the outside door.  I had an inside door but never used it.  That was where the mailbox was located...I never got mail...why bother?  It was a tiny one-bedroom, if you consider it a bedroom.  My double bed fit, but the dresser had to be in the closet.  When the rains came, the roof leaked and I had to move the bed out into the "living room area."  Made for interesting dates...  The kitchen had room for a small three-burner gas stove, a tiny table with one chair,  a sink, and my 6' plastic plant, Edgar.  I loved that place.  Kinda funky.  It was my first and last apartment.

In 1969 moved into a duplex with my spanking-new husband.  In 1970 we moved into a small house in Grants Pass, Oregon, then moved to Portland in 1974.  My children grew up in that small house until 1989 when we moved from the corner to the other corner.  Much larger house that allowed my sons to have rooms of their own.

The house where my mother spent her teen years in Ontario, CA

I bought my first house sometime around 1992 when I was hired at my college.  Then a bit after Doug and I were married in 1999, we sold it and bought our old Victorian farmhouse.  The point is I have only lived in an apartment for a very short (but funky-active-eighteen-year-old) time.

But my oh my how times have changed!  I became exhausted driving from Portland to Southern California once a month for a week to visit my mom.  The cost to drive back and forth was about the same as to fly and rent a car.  Doug and I discussed renting an apartment down south and staying longer at a time.  The monthly cost was about the same as traveling.  So, yep!  I am now the proud renter of a small "junior one-bedroom" apartment in Upland, California.

The house where my father spent his teen years in La Verne, CA

I have no idea how to live in an apartment!  My pup barks at everyone walking by...she makes friends with them face-to-face but she barks at them as they walk past.  Other people's dogs bark as we pass their apartments.  My radio is great as I am streaming my music, radio stations, podcasts.  But is it too loud for the neighbors?  I actually had to ask the woman sharing one of my walls...no problem she said.  *whew*   But the cost...yes, the rent is about the same as traveling monthly, but initial setting up house has been a bit costly.  Then there is electricity and water and trash.  Oh yeah...and laundry.  Carrying my laundry to the laundry mat up front of the complex, having enough quarters.  I don't remember ever washing my clothes back in 1968...but I must have because I had clothes. I wasn't that funky.

I am making friends all around me.  Ida lives across from me.  Anthony lives upstairs with Rico, his pup.  Rita, who is 88, lives upstairs across from Anthony.  Sarah and Adam live next door to Ida.  And I don't know the names of the people next door to me.  I call them "the people with the mean dogs."  Those two pups are fightingly nasty!  Zoe and I have been taking longer walks most days which helps with her boredom the rest of the day.   

And every day I drive to see Mom.  She has been more often in a good mood since I have been here, although I did buy her a Snickers candy bar that said she was "Cranky" when hungry.  That woman can slip from sweetness outdone into a crankypants at the snap of fingers.

Doug and I talk every day and miss one another but, except in the moment, not enough to come home early.  

So our adventures continue.  In an apartment.  Who knew?
peace~~~