Things Are Not Always As They Seem...

snail picture curtesy of Kaity

I was thinking about all this as I drove from my weigh in to the school meeting I had on Friday. The scales showed that I was up 2.6 pounds, even though I had eaten just right. My initial reaction was that I had goofed and had been eating more points than "allowed." But I knew that I was staying within my points. Even given Thanksgiving, I stayed within my points. So I told myself that I have no control over what my body does with what I put into it. I reminded myself that this isn't a real gain but just a gain. I reminded myself that I had been up over 8 pounds earlier in the week. I reminded myself it is all about the journey. I then turned up the music in the car and drove on to my half-day meeting.

On the way home, I stopped to get some lunch and ordered a burrito. I often buy a burrito and cut it into thirds to have for lunch all week. That makes the points reasonable (5.5 points rather than the 18 points for the whole thing). I ate the whole thing. And I was very full, but still wanted a little something to top it off. I ate my normal 100-calorie chocolate covered pretzels. I was satisfied and I cut out and sewed a quilt top the rest of the afternoon. But I felt lethargic and hated the top--too pastel (I really don't care for a bunch of pastels...need spunk!). I sat in Doug's chair and watched TV until he came home. I teared up at commercials...

When Doug arrived home, I told him that I wasn't reacting well to the weight gain and I knew it was hormones...but it was still a problem. All the signs were there. Eating and can't get full, lethargic, fluid retention, tearing up at commercials. Yes, it was hormones.

Okay, so we decided to make pizzas for dinner. We make them from scratch, individual ones. I make a good veggie pizza and I thought that would be a nice topper for the day. Ooops...out of pizza sauce. Doug decided to use salsa as the sauce. I just acted cranky. Made a salad. I baked a bag of tater tots. Acted cranky. Decided to make a veggie foccaca breadish kind of thing. I ate everything, plus ranch dressing for the tater tots (which I hate...I really hate. I had the bag here for a visit by my grandgirl but forgot to make her some of them. I still hate tater tots. But I ate them!).

I thought that if it really is about the journey, if I really do want to explore all the good and bad and interesting and not as helpful things I do to help myself or to sabotage myself, then I need to write this all down. I didn't react well to a small weight up. I took that out by eating a larger lunch than I would normally do (although having a burrito for lunch before WW was nothing!). I was cranky. I wanted to eat something sinful and ignore that there is something important called portion control. I wanted not to care.

I also knew as I got ready for bed that it was over. I knew the next day would be back to normal.

I tracked it all. I didn't go over weekly and daily points. I was saved by the weekly points. But even if I wasn't over points, the choices were interesting. To quote Scarlett O'Hara, "After all...Tomorrow is another day."

I don't see any change in my weekly picture. But I guess the big changes are over for now. Small changes. Doug says he can see some difference.

And so the beat goes on. peace~~