Mathew Cusick, Course of Empire Mixmaster 1. |
There I am in younger days stargazing
painting picture-perfect maps
how my life and love would be
not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
my compass, faith and love's perfection
I missed a million miles of road I should have seen
-Indigo Girls Love’s Recovery
Standing at the edge of the driveway, I entertain long
twilight shadows with songs and stories while dreaming of another world. Looking around at an audience unseen I enact
the plays I create as I dance. Ambition
softened by the desire to have children, to cook, to read, to sew, to be a
mother.
Bike-hikes taking me miles and miles across roads, walking
riding walking riding until I find a place safe and secluded to eat my tuna and
potato chip sandwich. Walnut trees to
climb and ride walk ride walk ride home again.
There are always roads to take.
Kisses sweet in the car home by midnight until mom flashes
the porch light to come in. Football
games and cruising the strip and driving the Volkswagen yellow bug across miles
of vineyards. Tokin’ groovin’ on a Sunday afternoon feelin
groovy. There are always roads to take.
No college for me; education is wasted with my desire to
grow up and move on. Children holding
onto my neck, soft wet snotty noses pressed against my arms as I read to them
while they grow sleepy. I lay them down
only to look at their precious faces angelic.
His fist flashes fast staggering me back and I crawl to their room to
sit close to their angelic faces as they sleep.
Hiding in the bathroom when he leaves and silently beating my head
against the wall. Cold and alone I dance
to the music in my head and entertain the shadows in my mind as I sing to the
plays created for me. I missed a million
miles of road I should have seen.
There are parts of the Mother Road which have washed away
over the years from lack of use. But if
you carefully follow the red cement and tolerate the bushes growing through the
asphalt cracks along the path, listen for the thump thump humming as you drive,
you can meander your way from Chicago to Santa Monica. Such was my journey out of hell. There are always roads to take.
My life meanders along this road and while I have access to
the map I choose to follow this path and then that path as it comes. Adventures occur when wandering is
allowed. Sweet kisses on my Valentine’s
lips. And now I sing and dance in the plays
I create as I entertain the sun warm with glorious joy.
peace~~~
2 comments:
Miles and miles betwixt and between. Hoped for hugs in nearly 20 years of dreams. Sunlight watching us both together and apart. Still your always a smile deep in my heart.
~Yaechle
You're. I hate typos!
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