Well...

Okay I was up. Really up. Three pounds up. My body fluctuates at times. Usually it is up maybe eight pounds of fluid and my feet are like little piggy feet. But the doctor and I have a good hold on controling the fluid and I was up only three pounds. Only slightly swollen ankles and fingers.

I knew that any loss I had would not show up on the scales. This one I could feel. But I still felt like crying when I saw it up so high. And even though I knew it was not what I was doing, but my body...I still felt like crying. Even though my weekly picture shows the change.

It is all about the journey. Part of this journey is watching what my body is doing in response to changes. If I keep my eyes on the journey, I will be okay. But the near-tears tell me it is hormones. I have no control over hormones. I have no control over my body's need for fluid. And I have no control over what the scales report.

I do have control over what I choose to eat. I do have control over how I respond to things. I do have control over living this life joyfully and fully.


My grandgirl is with us again tonight. We answered the door and gave away candy to all the trick-or-treaters. We searched for the hidden pictures in a new book. She fell asleep against my chest.

And with that, my friends, life jes don't get no better. Peace~~

I have been really hungry the past two days and, while staying within my points overall, I have been eating more points. I usually stay on the lower end of points and now I am eating all my daily points plus parts of my weekly points.

I know part of the problem is that I am still not remembering to bring something to eat on the ride home from work. I just keep forgetting and I am really hungry after eating lunch somewhere between noon and 1:30 all the way until about 6:00 for dinner.

Another reason possibly is that I may be missing something from my diet and it is catching up with me. I don't eat a great deal of protein as compared to veggies. I eat black beans and tofu more than chicken and fish. And while they are filling and stick with you longer, perhaps I need to add more protein.

Another possibility is that I am having a hormone moment. I get this thing with hormones where I can't seem to get full, no matter how much I eat. I retain fluid like crazy in the same process. I am holding more fluid...maybe this is part of the hormone dump.

And the last possibility is that I haven't been eating all my points. Perhaps my body is just hungry because I ain't eating enough, period.

Whatever...I am hungry and trying to stay focused. I will make sure every day that I have a snack in my bag to eat on the way home, and have low-point dinners for a while so I can eat more and still stay within my point area. Ohhhh taco salad. Lots of lettuce and salsa, filling and low points overall :)

I am trying to really pay attention to everything I am doing along this journey and am finding some interesting things. First, I can't tell if I have lost just by how I feel. I knew I had lost last week but didn't feel like I had this week. Oh I knew I had made good choices and stayed on points but it just didn't feel like I had lost anything. But I did--2.5 pounds for a total of 24. So going by how I feel isn't a good indicator of weight loss.
Another thing is that I am glad my week begins on Saturday for I have had something special on Friday for the past three weeks. Three weeks ago my dean had a get-together for the faculy and staff. Last week I made brunch for a retreat with my department. Last night was the celebration of Doug's birthday, Each week I planned what I was going to eat in a general way and saved up exra points for the event. And by weighing in on Friday morning I don't have to worry about fluid retention the next day if I eat things a bit richer than normal.

And lastly, this is the first week that I have not been able to see a change in my weekly picture. But good thing I have them going because I really CAN see changes as I go along.
My grandgirl stayed the night last night and today we are going to the Pumpkin Patch to find the best pumpkin. Then we will come home and carve that big guy before she goes home. I have been missing my girl as the remodeling of the bathroom has prevented her from staying with us all summer.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Great reward :) I am oiled and relaxed and feeling great :) Smell like lavender. And only 7.5 pounds until the next one! It jes don't get no better than this :)

I'm getting my first reward massage Tuesday evening :) I hope I like this therapist because she is just up the street a ways. My daughter-in-law is a massage therapist and her table is being stored here at the house. But until we get the bathroom remodel finished--which may be never or forever or something--there is nowhere to put the table if she wants to do a massage.

But I am having my first 15 pound reward massage Tuesday evening :) Life is good.