What is a Lady?

According to Wikipedia (the source I would always tell my students not to cite...but now I'm retired and I can do as I please :)), the word "lady" is a term of respect for a girl or woman, the equivalent of "gentleman." Once used to describe only women of a high social class or status, the female equivalent of lord, now it may refer to any adult woman. Informal use of this word is sometimes euphemistic or, in American slang, condescending.

The Cambridge dictionary defines "lady" as a noun, and says, "a woman who is polite and behaves well toward other people: Try to act like a lady.  It also says, "a woman who behaves in a way that is traditionally considered to be suitable for a woman." 

These definitions are the crux of my problem. What is suitable behavior for a woman and how does one therefore act? No one says how, only to do.

When my sister and I were at that clumsy awkward age of...well we've pretty much always been at that age...early teens, our mother enrolled us into the Sears Charm School. Yes, Sears had a charm school. We learned how to set a formal table, how to sit properly, how to walk. We learned how to take the stairs--book on our heads, eyes straight ahead never looking where our feet go, gracefully. We learned the model stance and how to walk down an aisle. It was such a good class, mom signed us up twice.  Yeah, we obviously must have failed the first time.... My sister was much better at all this than was I. I wrote that down as being younger :) It was just later that I realized I was simply a klutz and learned to embrace it.

My definition of a lady is a woman who sits with her knees together, skirt down over her knees, legs over to the side or crossed. She is sitting straight, no slouching allowed. A lady is graceful and holds her tea cup tastefully. A lady doesn't laugh at her date's underwear on the first date. 

It seems to me that being a lady is exhausting. It was tough being a lady, remembering all the things that needed to be done to remain "suitable" for a woman. Having held her body so tense with holding herself together she needs to take a nap afterwards. Exhausting.

Lady

Me

Lady

Me

Given all this, I long ago decided that I didn't want to be a lady, but a full-grown woman.  I'm polite. I'm a nice person. I can play coy but I am not coy. I speak my mind. I can be sweet, but I am not sweet. I like to think of myself as a bit spicy. I like myself and who I have become. I'm comfortable in my skin. I'm a bit clumsy but happy. I have bruises that I have no idea where I got them. I tend to walk into a door before I open it because in my head I am already through it. I make myself laugh :)

I love ladies! Watching Catherine (Kate), Duchess of Cambridge, is a true pleasure as was watching Princess Diana. But I have to admit, I enjoyed Sarah (Fergie), Duchess of York so much more. She was feisty :)

So what is a lady? I still am not sure but it ain't me, Babe.
And so it goes
peace~~~