Weird Portland Wednesday: The Green Green Parks of Home

I love parks with green grass flowing within banks of paths, with trees spreading their umbrellas of shade. Parks with sounds of children laughing, squealing with delight on swings and slides and fun. I love parks with trails that meander throughout the trees and bushes, leaving me thoughtful and content.

Portland has probably the most parks in the lower 48 with at least 279 parks and natural areas. We have one of the largest parks with Forest Park's nearly 7000 acres as well as the smallest park in the world: Mill Ends Park. Rated the smallest park by the Guinness Book of World Records, Mill Ends is about two feet in circumference. Like many of Portland's parks, there are often protests held there. 

One of the most beautiful parks in Portland is also one of my favorites: Cathedral Park. It sits under the enchanting St Johns Bridge, which is a suspension bridge from the Art Deco era. I was married under this bridge, a barefooted bride with daisies in my hair. My fella and sons and Doug's stepson wore Hawaiian shirts. Along with the sprinklers and the train and other chaos-makers during the ceremony, it was a splendid day.

And the park. The park is magnificent. It's not that large, just a bit over 21 acres, but it quietly says, "Peace" at every turn. The opening of the park has some lovely concrete steps out onto a circular platform and the park gently sweeps from there. Standing on the platform (which is where we held our wedding) looking out toward the Willamette River, you have a view of the cathedral pillars holding the bridge.

This park site is quite historical, as well as beautiful.  It is believed to be one of the 14 Lewis and Clark landing sites in the Vancouver-Portland area: William Clark and eight men camped there on April 2, 1806. It has also been a fishing and camping site for local Indian tribes. In 1847 the founder of St. Johns, James John, trapped and hunted on the site and operated a ferry to the fishing town of Linnton across the Willamette River. 

Apparently Cathedral Park is the one number historical landmark of Portland that is most often posted on Instagram.  The TV series, Leverage, was filmed in Portland and would use the park for many outdoor shoots. The television program, The Librarian, used the park as it's headquarters. Their library lair, or annex, was located at the base of the bridge.

The park, which was built in 1980, is home to many festivals and events. The year we were married, the Hood-to-Coast biking event was stopping at the park for a breather that weekend. This is why we were married on Friday rather than the expected Saturday. The Cathedral Park Jazz Festival, which started in 1981, is the oldest and largest free jazz and blues event west of the Mississippi. 

Cathedral Park, sitting beautifully under the St Johns Bridge, is one more way we keep Portland (happily) weird.
peace~~~

The More Things Change...

We are over eight months into the Coronavirus pandemic here in the United States, almost a year worldwide. So far, over one million people have died, with 214,000+ of them within in the United States--the largest number of deaths from one area. Brazil is the second largest group with over 150,000. And the numbers are rising most places daily.

Our lives have changed drastically. In our house, we have been staying-in-place since mid-March. My fella has been working from home. We go out only for essentials, like groceries and fabric (it's an essential, right?).  Fortunately we like to hang around with one another because we are together 24/7.

Faces of some of the 200,000 plus deaths in the US

Oregon does not have high numbers of cases compared to some states like California and New York, but most of our counties are are still under Phase One. Our governor is being very cautious in opening up the state. So far we have had 600 deaths from over 35,000 cases. While we are one of the lowest states in the nation, our numbers are starting to spike again mostly due to Labor Day celebrations and college parties.

Even with Phase One opening up restaurants and hair dressers and other shops, Doug and I are hesitant to jump out into the world too fast. A hair cut for me is not essential, so I am easily living with COVID-hair. Because of my neuropathy, I can't cut my toenails (I end up cutting my toes!). I finally broke down and had a pedicure. 

We make most our meals on the stove at home, with the once-in-a-while dinner brought home from pre-ordered food. We are not interested in trying to eat in a restaurant--not essential. I miss traveling around but I am making it through okay. Grocery shopping is every Friday morning at 7 am (a time originally designated for old people and people with disability). And the big WOW every Friday on the way home: Starbucks. 

The safety measures to get around have changed. I believe in them. I've been to the dentist three times since they have reopened. I'm not adverse to having my temperature taken nor questions asked about my health. I have no problem wearing a mask. I've been making some that are cute and fun. My kids and family are well-stocked in masks.

And today the big return to another universe is that I invited my house cleaner to come into the house and clean. Yes, it became essential. I used to think I kept a pretty good house. Apparently only because she came here and did it :)  She's wearing a mask and gloves and spraying disinfectant everywhere. We were going to be gone for the day but my fella had to work on a last-minute project. So we stayed away and let her do her thing. I sewed. My fella worked. It worked out okay.

While everything is upside down and backwards. While we have to think more to move around in order to fix problems. While we are careful and take care of one another. While all this is going on, we have some normal stuff in there as well. We still brush our teeth and bathe, make the bed, and feed the pets. We still keep the yard up. My fella still plays music. I still sew. But while we are doing these normal things, we are kind of doing them differently. 

Stay safe
Take care of yourself and your neighbors
peace~~~

Throwback Thursday: Turn Around Bright Eyes

When you are in a pandemic and have lots of extra time that is not being taken up with lunches with friends and running errands, you have lots of open time to think about things. You know, things like how to raise goats, why people won't wear masks, what's it like to walk on the moss in Ireland. You know. Thinking things. In that, I was thinking about the few times I have actually had a broken heart. 

A wonderful friend of mine's marriage just broke up. He and I have been talking for long periods of time about his relationship and his feelings. His fears and his depression. He has been very hard on himself. I remember that behavior.

In my 70 years, 25 of them between marriages, I've had many loves and lots of break-ups. I was recently reading my past diaries--I kept a diary from a year following my divorce in 1976 through the 1990s when I met my partner. As I was reading, I'd come across a name of someone I dated and wonder who the hell was that person. Mostly I'd smile at the antics--25-30 years gives you perspective. But I was also reminded of the few who left me with a broken heart.

Heartbreak really really sucks. I know it is a part of being human, experiencing life, but it really sucks. There is a wonderful article from Queensland Health, The Science Behind a Broken Heart that takes you behind the scenes of heartbreak (March, 2019-https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/science-behind-a-broken-heart). It says, "Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt." Some of the natural hormones your body produces can be lowered, which causes stress hormones to increase that bring on your fight-or-flight response. Unbalanced hormones can then contribute to anxiety, nausea, acne and weight gain. Heartbreak stuff.

So yeah. I've experienced heartbreak. We all have. Once in high school I had my heart broken. At 16, it is a forever angst sentence, isn't it? But, also at 16, it is a bit easier to get over. I fell in love again in my late 20s, early 30s. That heartbreak took me much longer to recover. I didn't date for a couple years following that break up. It brought on a depression that nearly wiped me out. But it didn't :) And then I had my heart broken again in my 40s. Those Internet loves can be intense.

Break up songs. So many break up songs. Songs that seem written just for you. I was long past the acute heartache and pain of my 20s heartbreak when I heard piano keys and then Bonnie Tyler sing "Turn around" (https://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo). It knocked the wind out of me and zoomed me once again into a total eclipse of my heart. I have always loved a solid blues beat but at that time came to really understand how the blues can fill you up. Music is comfort to your soul.

Obviously my style is to write about it. I use writing as something to get things out in the open, out of my head. When I was working on my relationship with my mom, I would write her letters that poured out every teeny tiny hurt she had ever caused me. Then I would read them the next day and shred them. When I quilt smoking, I wrote about it. It really helped me pull things out of my head and toss them away. In my diary, I once wrote, "I must be really sick. I reread these words to remember this pain. The pain is better than feeling nothing."

Funny that my divorce didn't cause me heartbreak. Perhaps because I was so glad to not be married to that man any longer. Unfortunately, he can still cause me heartache, but not for me; heartache for my sons. He keeps hurting them and in their own ways, they still keep trying to make some connection to him. So, never heartbreak. Mostly still, after 43 years, anger at this uncaring man.

So yeah it's a heart ache. It is physical and emotional pain. Mostly you gotta mourn through it. Don't try to avoid it, but take your blanket over to the corner and curl up, suck your thumb, and eat ice cream. Write about how you feel. Listen to sad and loving songs. Try the blues. Make some changes. As a woman, I cut my hair :) The one thing I had control over. And when you've given yourself some time to mourn, think about what it was that attracted you to the other. They are undoubtedly traits and aspects that others have. Then look for those qualities in others.

Those are the types of things that I did. According to my diary, I eventually moved on. Dated some guys names Alan and Doug, both of whom I don't remember. While I still have a difficult time to moving on, I can work through it. Just yesterday my fella put the winter quilt on the bed. THE WINTER QUILT! I had to breathe deeply a few times, smile and walk away in order to realize it didn't matter. It's just a quilt and he likes this one best. I know...that I had to breathe, smile and walk away to get over it makes me laugh, too.

And that's what I did, too :)
peace~~~