Last spring I went to the coast with Doug and we had a good time. But, having lost 40 pounds, I thought I could buy myself a new top or two. What I discovered is that 40 pounds didn't get me anything new. Everything still looked icky or too tight. I realized after coming home that I had lost some of the sight of my goal. I was discouraged. And talking about it made me realize how stupid that sounded so I didn't write about it.
But that is not the dumbest part of this journey... I hesitate to write how stupid I am, but I promised myself to pay attention to the journey. So here it is.
I mentioned that my sister has lost over 100 pounds this past year. I am very glad for her and proud that she has worked so hard to achieve so much. But... Okay here's the stupid part. But I have always been the thin one. She is the smart one and I am the thinner one. Now she is thinner than me and doing things I used to do but no longer do. She is sort of living my life rather than me living my life. And all this discouraged me. It should spur me on, but it doesn't.
Okay my complete idiocy is now out there for me to explore. Have gained about 10 pounds back but am holding and working on regaining momentum. I found a picture of myself from 13 years ago and posted it on my 'fridge as a reminder of my goal. I remember liking that feeling of thin :)