Sunday, May 03, 2009

Positively Meltdown

Things that went very well this week:
  1. I had seven good days for food. I ate very well and followed program. I planned, scheduled, and posted.
  2. I continued to follow my walking training program and make little moves forward every day. I can walk around the whole park now in 20 minutes. One and a half weeks ago I couldn't walk around the park at all.
  3. I rode my stationary bike on the nonwalk-training days.
The rest of the story:
  1. I had a complete mental meltdown on Friday, continued it on Saturday, and I don't want to move from my chair today. I cried and had trouble functioning. But I did function and went to work and went out Saturday and played with my grandgirl and I have worked on my class since I woke up at 4 am this morning. But I lost it.
  2. I gained another 5 pounds. My poor little fingers are swollen up like sausages.
  3. Doug's parents are quickly declining and we are certain he will need to go back east to Pittsburgh within the next couple weeks to help them move into an assisted living situation. They are both 89.
  4. We are flying down south to spend a few days with my mother over Mother's Day. We couldn't afford to fly at the last minute back to Pittsburgh and I wanted to see my mommy. So we are off for a few days.
  5. I haven't been sleeping very well lately. This comes and goes. Right now it is coming. Soon it will be going :)
  6. My grandgirl is the best thing since sliced bread. I need a dose of her every day. We went to Oaks Park last weekend. Oaks Park is a great place. Some friends of ours were playing at a benefit concert and we went to support the cause and the friends. We brought Kaity along so she could play on the carnival rides. That girl is fearless! The higher faster spinnier it is, the better she likes it. I have a great video of her telling me about one ride. I'll post it if I can figure out how to do that. Oh I know how to post...but the camera is new and I don't know yet how to download and edit :)
So life goes on. I have these periods of total meltdown...they go away. They come back. Anxiety. Headache. Can't really function but I manage to function. I am going to talk to someone in Employee Assistance Program this week and find out what's going on. I think I am on the verge of a breakdown. Serious. Gotta prevent that.

And the beat goes on :)


Myra said...

Sending you lots of cyber hugs and keeping you in my thoughts. Play as much as you can with that grandgirl and do seek some help. (((((Hugs)))))

NanaKaren said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're down and hope you speak with someone about this. We do need our sleep. Do you think this is depression (situational) or anxiety, or maybe a combination of both? I have been through this in the past and take a low dose of Paxil daily. I have no ill effects and feel great.

Our grandchildren can do wonders for us emotionally, spiritually and even spend lots of time with your little girl!

Sending up thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Karen

Crispy said...

Oh Polly, I'm sending you lots of good vibes and hugs. Absolutely go talk to a professional about your problems. It's no reflection on you and you will feel so much better for it. I know they will say to slow down...easier said than done....but not a bad thing.

Keeping you in my thoughts...


GARI said...

Please do get help. And hug your mother for me: I couldn't afford to go see mine this year.

Debi said...

I know how you feel Dori, but keep your head up and enjoy your time visiting with your mother.