You remember that old game: if you could be any animal, what would it be? Well I always wanted to be a leopard. Man they are so sleek and cool and sophisticated. They slink around, powerful shoulders moving in sync with the earth, head down but taking in everything. Cool and aloof.
And I picture myself walking through a crowd in a slinky black dress that clings to my body in just that perfect way, the hem floating across the floor. My fuck-me shoes are glimpsed now and again as I saunter past; being cool and aloof. People turning to watch me pass, wondering who I am and what I am thinking. Mysterious. Dangerous. Powerful.
Okay....now change the question to: what animal best represents who you are? And the fantasy evaporates........*fading to black*
See, I have never been cool. Just not “cool” material. I could put on that slinky dress and would never know it was caught up in the back in my pantyhose. If I didn’t turn my ankle in those high heels, I would get a nose bleed from the height. And how can I slink around when I kinda bounce rather than saunter? And it’s difficult to get “just the right affect” in facial expressions to remain aloof when I give everyone eye contact while smiling all the time. And I’d have to talk. Oh yeah.....I’d have to talk. A former lover and one of my closest friends calls me “Brook” cause he says I can run to babbling.
And sophisticated? HA!
No.....to answer the second question....I am not a leopard. I am curious and inquisitive and a bit uncoordinated (okay okay...maybe a little more than a “bit.” Neighbors rush outside and offer to clean my gutters when they see me getting the ladder out....I have a tendency to bump into a closed door and then I actually open it.....I own my own pair of crutches....). I want to explore everything in life - I don’t want to miss out on something important (nor obviously anything unimportant either....maybe I should examine differentiation and creating priorities....nah). I have to check out things and sniff them, taste them, and spit them out if they are nasty. I root through the day.
And happy? Oh yeah.
So....a leopard is not the correct animal which represents me....that would be a full blown puppy. A mutt. Big feet and overzealous. Romping and cavorting.
I dated a guy for a year who allowed me to “feel” sophisticated and cool. We drove around in a Lincoln Town Car (Whooohoooo!), but I am a VW bug kinda gal. He opened my doors (“It is the southern way, ma’am.”) and treated me like a “lady” (Believe me, I ain’t no lady. *beamin with womanly pride*). I felt slinky and tried to act cool. But instead of feeling powerful, I started losing power....falling into those old male/female roles that I had worked so hard to change. I stopped being assertive and found myself in a more passive role. I was no longer in control of my own life.....I had reverted back to allowing someone else to be in control. Ewwwwwwww
Well it is good to try new things :) But I am definitely a puppy *wagging my tail with my tongue flopping about while I grin and enjoy myself*
come romp with me
as we race to meet the wind
And the beat goes on.....peace :) *woof*